I've been in jail.

I've just spent the past 2 years in jail which might explain my absents but I doubt anybody really reads this anyway. When I got out my dog of 12 years died. I miss him bad. Life sucks sometimes. Oh, why'd I go to jail? Some bitch I was fucking around with said she was eighteen but turns out she was like fifteen and half. Plus I stole her dads car. Then wrecked it a mile down the road and went back and stole her mom's car. I traded it for a PlayStation 3 and like 5 games. That's why I went to jail and cause I violated my probation from some other shit back in the day. It's all good though because I found God and he told me to keep doing drugs and keep on fucking them bitches.
Peace
TK
RIP DUKE
Now go get you a copy of Big Fish in Middlesex.

Here it is suckers, Da mofo Big Fish in Middlesex trailer!!!

Big Fish in Middlesex Trailer

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"Yo girl? You ain't sleepn on me are you?"

I'm a slack ass- I know, so fuck you! I know I was supposed to do a post last week but I didn't because I couldn't get a ride to the college. Plus I was getting head from some hoe! Holla. Anyway here's another story-

In Middlesex it was common after you graduated from high school (fuck you I got my GED!) to move to Richmond to go to college because it was the closest city and it wasn't too far from home. (About an hour and 15 from the sex) Well not everyone would leave, some were happy with just plan ol Middlesex. That doesn't mean we didn't leave to go visit friends who were livin it up in the city.
I, Turtle and my boy Woody were still living in the sex. One weekend we decided to go kick it in Richmond with some friends who were having a college party. We got there and immediately scoped out the bitches, then went to the blunt room. This was a tiny room with about fifteen heads token on one blunt. We’re havin a good time gettn lifted and then suddenly this hoe shifts her position on this bed she was sitting on and Turtle thought she was coming on to him. He dove right on top of her and started kissing her. She was wasted and didn't know what was happening. Now I can see it being dark and everyone kinda in their own but there was this bright ass light on and everyone could see. So I said “Turtle- What the fuck are you doing?" Everyone started laughing. I finished the blunt and went to holla at some bitches. I ran into my boy Mean Gene and we kicked it for a bit until his hot ass girl showed up and he split. Damn times had changed because me and him used to tag team the ugliest bitches in the trailer park back in the day! Anyway back to Turtle. That fool came over and started bitching me out that I cocked blocked him. I was like "Turtle she moved slightly in your direction and you took it as-“ let me whip out my cock!” I just didn't get why the fuck he was ready to get down n dirty in a room filled with people just watchn? Plus she was a dddiiirrrttty hoe! I'm talkn I would defiantly where a rubber, maybe two!
Any who- Turtle and I are arguing like we always did and then Woody was like yo everyone’s goin to this party across town, let’s go. So we did and it was okay until I started gettn super hungry and I didn’t have any money. Turtle was pissed cause that same girl he tried to jump was all over some other dude. (For reference we will call this girl Sarah.) Anyway a couple beers later I over hear Sarah and her roommate say “lets go back to our place I'm tired and I want to order a pizza.” So I run to get Woody and Turtle and tell them lets go back to Sarah's she's gonna order a pizza! Turtle was of course like “hell yeah” because he was gonna try and bang Sarah. Woody was tryn to fuck this other girl at the party so he said he would catch up with us later. We split and two hours later (cause we got lost and walking on foot) we got there. We went in through the back door and Turtle went right for his target. Her roommate was passed out in her bed and Sarah was almost passed out on the couch. Turtle went right for her and started kissing her all over and shit. I was like fuck it and went for my target- the pizza. I opened the fridge and there it was still warm and the girls had only eaten two slices. I ate like three slices in 2 minutes when suddenly I hear someone coming in the front door. I didn't know if it was another roommate or what? (I only knew of Sarah from Middlesex.) So I jolted out the back door, I was sure they would be pissed I ate half their pizza. I hid on the balcony and peered inside to see who it was. I couldn't make out who it was. It was dark and they went right for the pizza but once that fridge light came on I saw that it was.....Woody! So I came back in and was like “maaaaannnnnn you scared the shit out of me!” He was like fuck it, that bitch wasn't gonna give me none so I came here for some pizza. So after we finished off all their food and beer, (heck we even puked a couple times off the balcony.) We decided to spy on Turtle and see what he was doin in the livin room. He was still making out with her but she was border line asleep. We even heard him say- “Yo girl? You ain't fallen asleep on me are you?" Me and Woody laughed like school girls. We then went back out on the balcony and smoked a bunch on cigarettes. Turtle finally comes out to smoke and said that she went to bed and she wasn't tryn to fuck. At that point Woody goes into use the bathroom and Turtle starts regretting even coming to Richmond. (Yet if he got laid he would be telln a different story.) At this point I was tired and told Sarah’s roommate that I was gonna sleep in her bed. Holla. She was cool but told me not to try anything! (Yeah right) So I go inside take a piss and realize I haven't seen Woody, so I start to look around for him. (I was gonna be pissed if he stole my sleeping spot.) I look in Sarah's room and low and behold Woody is in her room totally naked under the covers tryn to get some. I was like woody- "what the fuck are you doin?"

*Side Note*-Woody is good lookn dude (F U I'm not gay!) he can get a lot of hot bitches and he does, but in his eyes- pussy's pussy!

Sarah was in her bathroom probably washn Turtle’s slobber off her cheeks, she comes out and I just shut the door. Five minutes later Woody comes out fully clothed and was like- "She ain't try to fuck!" I was like whatever and went into the roommate’s room and crashed on the bed! Nothing happened! Something about me- when I lay my head down on that pillow I'm out. Which I hate cause it’s costed my a lot of pussy I could of got!
I wake up to a cat standing on my chest. I slapped that kitty across the room. Suddenly Woody comes in and is like “yo we got to go.” It was almost light outside when we found our way back to Turtle’s car. I was like “yo what was the fuckn rush.” Apparently Woody had taken a shit and stopped up their toilet and to make matters worse he couldn’t find their toilet paper and used their hand towel! We busted out laughing and slept for a little bit in the car on the way back to the sex. That was like 5 0r 6 years ago but will still laugh about it to this day. Except Turtle, but fuck him!

First story of the blog!

Well, it’s Wednesday and I'm back online like I promised which ain't like me. I'm what you call poor folk (until I see some royalties from the film) I don't have internet at my place so I come up to the community college where it’s free. I also holla at some college bitches!
Anyway- first story.
Me and Turtle were sitn in my broke down car outside my house gettn high as a mofo (like we always did ) I was telln him about this bitch I used to bang. I'm going into mad detail about how she would buck her legs when she came and just go crazy. This bitch looked like Brittney Spears when Britt was hot! Anyhow this girl had a killer body with nice perky titties and a plump ol ass. Every time she came or I would, she would jam her tongue down my throat for some serious kissing. Which always stuck with me cause I do that now to any of you hoes wondering where I got it! Soooo tell me are you hard yet? Cause Turtle was. Seriously I was telling him the same shit and saw a movement in his pants and looked down and his shit was hard. I busted out laughing and called him out on it. Turtle tried to deny it but wanted me to finish the story. That mofo got hard off me fuckn some chick he didn't even know.
That’s the first story. Heather if you ever read this- I miss fuckn you! Give me a call if you’re not fat and ugly now!
Holla
T.K.

I'm Trevor Kennedy a.k.a. TK and I'm a mofo kiiilllaaa!

What it do? Dis ur boy TK from the durty south- Middlesex VA! Represent mofos. I'm here to talk up the J Straiton's film- Big Fish in Middlesex. It's the film based off my life as a pimp. Well....not exactly, it's based off three of my other friends too, but fuck them, their a bunch of fagets and they can get there own blog! Anyway if you haven't seen this flick- you need to. The shits off the hook. It won a ton of awards and I've gotten mad pussy off its success! Check out the website http://www.bigfishinmiddlesex.com/ when you get a chance...na fuck it, stop readn this shit and check it out........................................................................................You back? Good, I'm gonna try and write on this thang once a week. We will see how long that will last. I don't stick with shit much but if I do I'll tell you all the goods on me, my boy Turtle, Bo and that faget Leap. Look for Big Fish in Middlesex coming soon to DVD!
I'll holla at you fools later.
TK